Would You Go To This Length To Hide An Embarrassing Symptom?

One of the main symptoms of my #pelvicpain is the random intense urgency to pee or shit. 

When I first moved to #London, the area I lived didn't have many public toilets. I was terrified I'd get caught short in public. I scribbled a list of discreet places I could resort to in case nature called and I needed a spot to go:
  • the alleyway behind the supermarket, 
  • bushes at the rear of the church, 
  • back of the pub car park...
The first time my girlfriend stayed over she spotted the list on a kitchen unit. 

'What's this for? What are these places?' she said. 

I was so embarrassed I lied. I told her each location had a quirky local fact I'd learnt since moving in. 

The first time I had dinner with her parents, she mentioned my 'facts' about the city they'd lived in all their whole life. 

For the entire meal, her father interrogated me with questions like 'Okay James, tell me which source told you there was once a Roman brothel in the alleyway behind your local Tesco?' 

James P, 35, London, UK

Universal Pictures 


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